i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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