therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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