he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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