Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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