My room smells like vodka and shame
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
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Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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