After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
