New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
