I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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