I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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