We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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