When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
