I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize