Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
