He kissed a someone with a penis
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
