From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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