I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
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I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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