just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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