Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
