come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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