Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Two words: nipple clamps
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