did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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