So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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