she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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