Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
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The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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