oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
