after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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