Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
