my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
