Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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