I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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