i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have aggressive nipples.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
