we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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