Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!