The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
15 Times â€śFlight of the Conchordsâ€ť Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.