your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"