At least make sure they are 18
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now