i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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