can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.