So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
