i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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