I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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