what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
