Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
