We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
