THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
