But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
