That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
