Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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