Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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