haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
