I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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