If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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