I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
