ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize