I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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