how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
