Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
