I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize