I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
