There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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