Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
