wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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