Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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