you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
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can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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