He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
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You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
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Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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