So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
